I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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