What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
