So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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