Rock
Scissors
Fuck
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
