Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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