But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
