I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
