Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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