would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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