You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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