Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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