Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
