i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
