Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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