The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
