I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
