Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Sext me about skeletons
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
