it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Michael Bay diarrhea
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
