I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
