Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
