so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
