RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
