So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize