this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
