Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
