my being single is dangerous.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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