BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
