i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
