you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
