I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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