Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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