5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
