oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
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Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
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Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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