Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
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