I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
How does it feel to date your dad?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
