Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
