I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
