its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
as a side note pls kill me
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
