I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
