I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize