Have you finally orgasmed yet?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
