the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
