Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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