should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
