somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
