dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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