The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
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His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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