i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
