Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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