so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
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