we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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