He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
