I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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