Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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