i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
