They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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