The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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