we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
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