the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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