Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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