all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
