I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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