I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize