you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
