Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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